Step 1: “D” in DEFINE
No one goes anywhere today without a map (ok…no one uses maps anymore….grab your phone).
To achieve or attempt to achieve a new goal (in my case FULL BALANCE) we need to lay out the guidelines about what we want to achieve. In my case its balance. I listed what I need to balance below:
Health (mental and physical)
This is the “D” in the D-E-F-I-N-E method. When I first began this process twelve years ago my “D” stood for achieving a personal counseling practice with flexible hours so I can be home with my children most of the time, yet a viable contributor to my profession also.
It may seem that I came up with my goals for balance effortlessly, however, know that it took time and energy to name my focal points. I had a head start over you as I knew them before I started this blog!
Grab pen and paper and a cup of tea (…or glass of wine), find a quiet spot and simply think about what occupies your thoughts the most, where do you expend most of your energy, and what brings you joy at the end of the day?
That nagging voice that keeps whispering the same idea day after day, month after month, year after year is the Universe talking to you. Have you had an idea that you never pursued but keeps nagging at you? To start a business, advocacy group, grass roots campaign, moms club, personal blog, go back to work, stay at home, quit your job, change your job, go back to school etc..?
You had it in your mind, then heard it mentioned on a television show, read something like it in a magazine article, got crazy jealous when you saw or heard someone do something like your idea….yep…that’s the Universe.
For me that nagging took place for just over a year before I decided to listen. I had dreams of owning my own practice, I ran into colleagues who were mothers just like me who quit their jobs to go into full time practices and felt crazy jealous as a result! I had high anxiety any time a company would offer me a full time position with benefits! Who has panic attacks over benefits!? The Universe nagged me until I finally got the message and pursued my dream of owning a Private Practice!
So now it’s your turn…. take the day, week, or even month and really listen to the Universe! Define your goals based on what has been on your mind for longer than you care to admit. Work on that goal until it is clear, concise and measurable.
For example it cannot say “become a business owner” or “moms group organizer.” It must say “Owner of web based flower delivery company” or “Organizer of moms group for vegan moms with toddlers.”
When it is stated clearly you will now have a direction. Having a direction keeps us from getting lost, helps us find our way back if we do get off the path, and keeps us steady when the going gets rough and cloudy.
My goal is to achieve balance in family, career, friendships, health, and personal time. Balance for me is defined as…. in a given month attention paid to all of these areas at least once. I know I have family and career time on point, however, friendships, health, and personal time are what I spend little to no time on. So my goal will be to do something every month to focus on time with friends, my health, and personal time (which is basically what I like to do for fun). If I am being honest….I spend zero time on personal time or fun. I may need a grace period just to figure out what fun is for me now!!!
As you read my goals you may think...how easy…but know that my anxiety is already up thinking how will I cut time out of family and career to have fun, work out, and go to dinner with a friend! Since this blog is also a support page, feel free to offer me some right now!!!
Feel free to add your comments on your goals also! I would love to hear them and support you too along the way!
So grab that cup of tea and find a quiet place (once your kids are in bed or off to school or your office door is closed) and take the time to define your goal!
And know, simply by doing this exercise you are prioritizing your personal time! See everyone is already making progress!