I’m clinical counselor and Coach who’s been active in my profession for 19 years! That number blows my mind as I do not feel a day past twenty! Yet to say that I have been at something for 19 years sounds like a long time! As if I should be given a gold rolex and a nice retirement package! I have worked with families, children, and teens my whole career. However after starting my own family thirteen years ago my trajectory changed and I began to Re-Define my focus and placed it on women, moms, and couples! Basically, people who are just like me! I opened up my own private counseling practice in 2007 and have been helping to Re-Define the world one person at a time! I love what I do for a living!
Throughout my career I have had moments of redefinition. Moments where my trajectory changed due to life transitions or simply because I felt the need for change coming from someplace deep within. Call it intuition, the Universe, or God….I felt simply “a knowing” that it was time to do something different.
If you are reading this, then I bet you have experienced that same “knowing.” However, for me (and most likely you too), I have had some “knowings” go far longer then I would like to admit. Whether due to fear, bad timing, financial barriers, lack of support, toxic connections…it has taken me longer to Re-define my life path on some goals compared to some others.
Through years of helping my personal clients, as well as myself, I have learned that time passes anyway –with or without us achieving our goals! It will not wait. Five years from now will arrive no matter what. It will either arrive with us being in the exact same place as we were five years ago or it will arrive with us having achieved a goal or two along the way!
Twelve years ago I decided I will be in a different place tomorrow then I had been at that time. Twelve years ago I was a new mom to a toddler and a baby on the way, a young wife, a transplant to a new city complaining every day about feeling “some kind of way.” I felt heavy, sluggish, envious, you name it!
After allowing myself to live that way for two years, I had enough. I had to do something and do it now! So I went about applying my master’s degree in counseling to motivate and help no one other than myself! Go figure! I could actually use my skills and training on myself as I had been trained to do for other people! Interesting concept! Certainly did not help with the student loans but it did help to turn my life completely around!
So I defined my goals, took the steps to eliminate barriers, identified my resources, created action steps to work towards my goals, took daily action steps until Seasons Life Coaching and Counseling was born!
I joined support groups, participated in personal and business coaching, saw my own counselor, read, read, read, (and still read) and listened to that Universal Spirit as much as I could hear it during that time. I did it all with that feeling of swimming against the tide.
With every step I took I felt a chain snugly wrapped around my ankle. Every step slow are arduous! However, instead of an iron ball at the end of this chain (as in the old time movies), the pull of my family and home obligations gave me a steady reminder of the need to both focus on myself… and them at the same time. Giving me a duel focus. I had to find a way to pursue my personal and career goals, and be present for my children, husband, and…. my laundry!!!
As a result of this duel focus my journey may have taken longer then some (maybe even most), may have been an uphill climb, and may have been incredibly exhausting at times but I felt a whole heck of a lot better than those days of sluggishness and envy.
Today I am on new journey, having accomplished my original goal, I now seek to achieve balance. Balance involves giving myself to others as I do to my family and work, but to also give my time to myself as in physical fitness and dinner with friends!
I also endeavor to help you swim against the tide and climb uphill all the while keeping your family satisfied and nourished. To help you no longer feel “some kind of way” – and having your own balance. Weather that is a focus on fitness goals, a business venture, prioritizing family time, spiritual growth, or simply figuring out what you enjoy doing for fun (yeah…crazy right?… Some of us really need to figure that one out!). You may move at a slower pace then some, but you can move forward. I guarantee it!
In my own process I created the DEFINE method believing that I could indeed Re-define myself from that stuck woman I had been so many years ago to who I am today. Owner of Seasons Life Coaching and Counseling, Clinical Counselor, Cognitive Behavioral Therapist, Private Practice star up Coach, Personal Coach, mother of two, wife, friend, advocate, yogi, and the countless other roles women play!
So let’s use my D-E-F-I-N-E coaching method to Re-Define our lives so one year from now, five years from now, or twelve years from now we can declare that we are definitely in a different place!
D-define the goal (clear, concise, measurable)
E– Eliminate past physical and Psychological barriers. (Mastermind)
F-Fearless movement to identify Resources necessary for goal pursuit and achievement (money, people, tools, education.)
I-Initiate the creation of action plan
N–next day objective plan daily